I don’t know about you, but I’ve personally spent an inordinate amount of time in my bikini this summer. Now don’t take that to imply that I’m completely comfortable and happy with how said bikini looks on me (although, I’m not going to lie, the Bikram yoga classes have been worth their weight in gold), but I’m living in SoCal, the beach is but a short jaunt away, and life is too darned short to not get nearly-naked in the summer sun. The truth however, is that there is not enough Bikram in the world to get rid of what is akin to the plague to nearly 85% of women over the age of 20. What is this bikini-pariah, you ask? Cellulite. (*screeching of brakes)

Bikini season has descended on us like a swarm of locusts, and if you’re uncomfortable with showcasing your body in this tell-all swimwear item – and let me assure you, I feel your pain – we thought we should address the dreaded C-word. We’ve all heard that there is no cure for cellulite, but with all the research and advances in skincare and cosmetics, could that really be true?

Real Simple addresses this in a recent article entitled “What Can I Do About Cellulite?” – (They put the c-word in bold print, so you know they’re serious.)



First let’s take a good hard look at the enemy. Underneath your supple SPF-ed skin is a network of loosely woven connective tissue called septae that holds your fat in place. (Like Spanx, only for your fat – hey, wait?!) Like all loosely woven textiles (think fishnet pantyhose) fat can bulge out through the holes and create lumps and bumps on the skins surface… and voila! Cellulite is born. Sadly, it’s a genetic thing and women get the worst of it. (Men are more likely to have tightly woven septae – jerks.) Since us lady-folk also have thinner skin and our hormones fluctuate like the tides, affecting the size of our fat cells, we often-times find ourselves staring at the ripples in our rump and thinking “Why?! God!? Why?!”

If we logic this out, we realize that losing weight is obviously part of the cellulite reducing equation, but that is also dependent on genetics. (*tears) If you’re genetically predisposed to have not-so-stretchy skin (and yes, our skin does loose elasticity as we age) then it can get saggy and make the cellulite look even worse. (*sob) So are we doomed to deal with dimply dumps? Yes. And no.

Real Simple provides a few cellulite relieving tricks of the trade (some rumored, some researched) that won’t eradicate this plague, but might help.

One simple, though questionable and short-term Real Simple tactic to improve the appearance of cellulite is a topical potion applied directly to the offending area. We're all aware that topical cellulite-relieving cosmetics don't have the best reputation when it comes to actual results, but if you're in the "I'll try anything once" camp, here's the thought behind it. The "magical" ingredients in these lotions are generally caffeine and vitamin A. The caffeine solutions claim to provide a temporary tightening effect, while the vitamin A solutions claim to thicken the outer layer of the skin over time to make lumps less apparent. Combined with a good self-tanner (Not a real tan folks!) this type of camo might last you at least until your next shower. We're not advocating folks... so if you don't get the results you want, don't kill the messenger!

If you’re looking to take a stronger approach to your dimples, then you’ll have to plan a visit (or several) to your Dermatologist for more intensive (and expensive) treatments.



Your Dermie probably offers up other more high-tech treatments involving lasers and radio frequency devices that also use massage and suction to stimulate collagen production and alter the septae so it doesn’t pull as hard on the skin (this is what causes the dimpling folks). The bonus with these treatments is that they also use heat energy to shrink the fat cells, which your liver then processes. Four to eight treatments (at $300 - $500 each) should do the trick and give you an up to 50% reduction in dimples. Unfortunately the results (which vary) will only last from 6 months to two years, and then you’ll have to do it all over again.

If you (and your wallet) are willing to pull out the big guns, then there is also laser-assisted liposuction. A local anesthetic is used for this surgery where a tiny laser fiber is inserted under the skin to melt fat, which is then suctioned out. This surgery takes about two hours and comes with a few days of soreness, but hey… you’ll see a reduction in your cellulite for up to six years – for about $5000.

As for me? I’m going to continue to rock my cellulite loud and proud (and possibly covered with a wrap when necessary) until some amazing new procedure is invented to melt away my dimples. And when this does happen… rest assured that we here at Project Beauty will let you know!