With a diva-ish (and ridiculous looking) flip of my hair, I tell you without shame that I didn’t shower yesterday. And, I’m not gonna shower today. No. I’m not. And when I slink on down to the video store (yes, I still go to the video store – don’t judge me) to return the movie that is three days late, I’m going to breeze in (maybe not the best choice of words) and boldly invade the nostril space of anyone inside. Because, hey! I gotta be me. Oh… and an article in the New York Times suggested a lot of pretty good reasons to kick the ‘clean’ habit. – (Am I just using this as an excuse to be lazy and slothy? I’ll never tell.)

In “The Great Unwashed,” Catherine Saint Louis explores an ever growing (and proll’y pretty green) subculture that contends that a soapy washcloth under the arms, between the legs and under the feet is all one needs to get “really clean.” Um… really clean? Really?

In fact the chief executive of organic skin-care line Osea, Jenefer Palmer (who claims to adhere to this soapy washcloth theory) says that she showers “no more than three times a week” – less if she hasn’t been “working out vigorously” and never, ever uses deodorant.

Tangent Alert: Can I just point out here that Osea (Skin Care) is NOT OSEA (Occupational Safety & Environmental Assoc.) and I'm showing great restraint in not mentioning the not-so-subtle correlation? - Oh crap. I just did it.

In theory this all sounds like a super (if smelly) time saver. Remember that not-so-incredibly-scientific study that contended that women spend an average of 3,276 hours ‘getting ready’ in their lifetime? (Let’s take a moment to break that down: 136 days – enough time for an astronaut to fly to the moon and back… 22 times.) Mom, Dad… I’m pretty sure we just figured out the reasoning behind my lack of productivity. Just sayin’.

But seriously. Why? Jenefer? Why!? Her reasoning is two-fold: retention of the skin’s natural oils and water conservation. Okay… we like skin and the environment. We’re listening.

Researchers have discovered that our skin (like our sexy insides) contains beneficial germs that we might want to hang onto as opposed to washing them down some filthy drain. Dr. Richard Gallo, chief of the dermatology division at the University of California in San Diego says that good bacteria educates your skin cells to make your own antibiotics that, in turn, kill off bad bacteria. - It’s a sad day for bad bacteria, folks.



Dr. Gallo contends that scientists are just now beginning to understand the correlation between eczema, flare-ups and dry skin and people just plain showering too much. “It’s not just removing the lipids and oils on your skin that’s drying it out,” he said. It could also be “removing some of the good bacteria that helps maintain a healthy balance of skin.”

And that’s not even mentioning some consumer's concerns about the dangers of antiperspirants containing aluminum, despite both the National Cancer Institute and the Alzheimer’s Association not sharing in those concerns.

But Todd Felix does. He’s an actor/online producer at Sony who lives in my fair City of Angels and he happens to think that deodorants and antiperspirants are “absurd” and “akin to covering your pores in Saran Wrap.” Of course he’s also a little sketchy about actually disclosing to people (especially dates – Oh Todd) that he forgoes such supposed cultural niceties.



“When you tell people you don’t wear deodorant, you come across as, ‘Oh, how European, how natural, how funky,’” he awesomely told the NYT. And while I appreciate his use of the word ‘funky’ – go on, say it outloud, you know you want to – I have to gently break it to poor Todd: You’ve made the New York Times, so... I’m pretty sure the cats out of the bag.

The article is chock full of interviewees admitting that the traditional culture of cleanliness (daily deodorants, perfumes, showers and shampoos) that began in the 1940’s and continues to spawn a big, big (did I mention big?) business, is something that they choose to eschew. From 20-30 something’s to 40-50 something’s… all sorts of something’s are taking this leap. And gosh… it’s gonna make it a lot easier to scrounge up a rousing game of ‘hipster vs. homeless’ – am I right?!



So while I sit here… getting ready to sign out, I am unbathed and considering the merits of such a practice. How long will it last? (ie. How long until my friends physically toss my a** into the shower?) Time will tell. Time will tell. (I'm not a threatening person. Why does that sound like a threat? Hmph.)



'til Next Time!