Warning: I’m about to commit a serious over-share. Please don’t think less of me.

You know it’s serious when your friend looks at your legs, mutters “dear God woman”, then hands you the business card of her waxing aesthetician while staring at you in disgusted disbelief for an uncomfortably long time?

I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve been a little lax in the lady-scaping department, but - in my defense - I’ve been writing so much that I’ve become a virtual shut-in. In truth, I’m starting to look vaguely werewolfian – but waxing? Um. That sounds painful. Can’t I just shave?

“There’s not a razor in the world that could handle that situation.” She replied, stone-faced. I hate her.

Suffice it to say I was sufficiently shamed into making an appointment.

Waxing is a method of semi-permanent hair removal that basically removes hair from the root by slapping hot wax (AH!) on the hair infested area, then covering said hot wax with a strip of cloth, and then, once the cloth, hair and wax have all sufficiently congealed to each other – ripping it all off (WHAT!) in one fell, torturously-painful swoop.

Okay, ‘torturously painful’ might be an over-dramatization – but for realz, it’s gonna hurt – momentarily. And since we started with the cons, let’s just get those other drawbacks over with, shall we? Waxing can be expensive – while there are numerous DIY-at-home-kits lining the shelves at CVS – there is no way in hell that I would trust myself to rip out my own body hair by the root. For one, I’m a coward. I’d probably chicken-out at that crucial moment and then walk around with my leg (or other embarrassing region) encased in wax while I Google my way out of it. Having painted that picture - I don’t need a reason number 2. I’m going to leave my waxing in the capable hands of a professional aesthetician.

Another drawback? Have you ever ripped off a band-aid and – gasp! – a little piece of you comes off with it? Yep. That could totally happen with this waxing business. Say your skin is a touch thin or fragile or you accidentally wax over a raised mole. (!!!) I think you get the picture.

But it’s not all a ‘shop of horrors,’ in fact the painful part (considering you avoid the pitfalls of the above dreaded cons) is actually quite brief considering the payoffs. Getting waxed can be an incredibly freeing experience. After the pain subsides, everything looks all soft and shiny and manicured – and that, as you all know, makes a gal feel downright sparkly. So send your Venus razor on a hiatus, ‘cause your legs, armpits, eyebrows, boyfriend’s back… um… ladybits will stay hair-free and smooth-as-a-baby’s-bottom for 2 to 8 weeks.

And since habitual waxing is likely to set you back some scratch – here are some before and after pointers so you and your follicles get the most from each waxing session.

1.) Go Pro: I’m not trying to sound redundant, but seek out a professional. Not only will they be licensed, but they’ll know what kind of wax is best suited for your hair, they’ll know how much wax to apply, how to hold the skin taut and pull in the right direction. These things may not seem important now – but when you’re rockin’ flesh wounds and enough ingrown hairs to stifle your love life for the next several months – you’ll wish you’d taken my advice.

2.) Dull your Senses: Not with the booze, people! So put down that martini you manhandled when you read ‘Dull your senses’ – I didn’t mean that at all. Alcohol and caffeine are stimulants. Stimulants ‘cause the skin to be extra sensitive. I believe you can take the logic from here. Opt for an aspirin or ibuprofen 30-40 minutes before your waxing instead.

3.) Scrub-A-Dub-Dub: We all exfoliate our fancy faces, but don’t forget about the rest of your skin-u-lar areas. Use a gritty body scrub to help rid dead skin around your pores and hair follicles – easier hair exit. It’ll also help keep those ingrown hair-creatures at bay. And it smells good – so there, I said it. I like smelly bath products. My birthday is in December.



'til Next Time!