Let’s talk about breast cancer until we’re blue in the face
Oct 11, 2011 Posted by Martha Drezin
How many women in LA actually have their original breasts anyway?
The beach is the perfect place for observing women. Some are so perfectly formed, you’d think G-d uses Photoshop. But you will also see an army of mottled chests, pancake breasts, flapping arms, muffin tops, belly rolls, cottage cheese saddlebags and elephant-skin inner thighs. These women have spent time at the beach every summer throughout their lives. If you are offended by their body parts, that’s your problem. Their sense of entitlement is healthy and profound: "I deserve sun and sand and water because I am a human being, life is short and I’m maximizing every minute."
There’s a third kind of woman: tentative, self-conscious and afraid of offending others with her imperfections. She can’t enjoy the beach because she’s shrouded. She’s wearing Capri pants and a tee covered by a long army-style shirt rolled up at the elbows and fastened with little buttons. You may wonder what she’s hiding under the shirt. About 12 years ago, I invited a woman to stay at my beach house. She said, “Great, but I don’t go on the beach.” No further explanation. I knew she had undergone mastectomy for breast cancer several years ago.
The October 2011 issue of Glamour magazine focuses on five women who have had breast cancer. The youngest of them was diagnosed at age 16 and the oldest was diagnosed when she was 29. Two of them have no family history of the disease. Statistics indicate that women of this age should not get breast cancer. But they do.
These women have something in common besides youth and cancer. They are beating down the disease by telling all, which is usually a mistake, but not when it comes to breast cancer. Talking about the breast cancer experience normalizes it, spreads information and detoxifies feelings surrounding it.
Ellen Bantug, age 29, co-coordinator for the breast cancer survivorship program at the Sidney Kimmel Comprehensive Cancer Center at Johns Hopkins, Baltimore was diagnosed at age 23 and underwent lumpectomy, radiation, chemo and bilateral mastectomy. Following these treatments, she says, "I felt like a 60-year-old menopausal woman. Would my libido every return? Discussing these issues is the only way to change the culture. More women are beating this disease. We have to talk about life after cancer too."
Dr. Meltem Zeytinoglu was diagnosed at age 22. After losing her mom to breast cancer she hated feeling pity from others, so she kept her diagnosis quiet and felt terribly alone. Now, she is healthy, vibrant and connected to several breast cancer organizations. She also shares the gift of her personal experience with patients.
Jamie Pleva lost her sister and grandmother to breast cancer. When she learned she had the breast cancer gene, she scheduled a double mastectomy. Before beginning chemo, she had her eggs frozen to preserve her fertility. Now she’s telling others about this option.
Breast cancer is not just a life-threatening disease; it is a condition that insinuates itself into every nook of your life – dating, marriage, pregnancy, motherhood, femininity, sexuality, career and relationships. If you look squarely at what it does and discuss it, it becomes less toxic. It’s also fine to joke about cancer. TV shows like “The Big C” and movies like “50-50” are on the right track. Wanda Sykes jokes about her double mastectomy, "At least with LGBT issues, we get a float or parade. But with cancer all you do is walk. I got a lot of walks coming up."
Breast cancer patients do not follow one course. The big dilemma following mastectomy is whether or not to undergo breast reconstruction. As in all aspects of the disease the one thing that is clear and simple is that each and every bit of information must get out there. To that end an inaugural breast reconstruction awareness day, aptly called BRA Day, is scheduled for October 19th. This effort involves plastic surgeons specializing in breast surgery, plastic surgery nurse specialists, the Canadian Society of Plastic surgeons and breast cancer support groups. More important, it includes women who have undergone reconstruction and can deliver the real scoop about saline versus silicone versus autologous (your own tissue) reconstruction or the benefits of no reconstruction at all.
There are all kinds of breasts out there, real and artificial, and the options are increasing as I write. With the multiplicity of breast sizes and substances, including stem cells, a woman with her original breasts may stand out on the beach the same way a woman with her original husband stands out today. ("You mean, he’s the only husband you ever had?") So, put on a bathing suit and let’s talk about breast cancer until we’re blue in the face.
The beach is the perfect place for observing women. Some are so perfectly formed, you’d think G-d uses Photoshop. But you will also see an army of mottled chests, pancake breasts, flapping arms, muffin tops, belly rolls, cottage cheese saddlebags and elephant-skin inner thighs. These women have spent time at the beach every summer throughout their lives. If you are offended by their body parts, that’s your problem. Their sense of entitlement is healthy and profound: "I deserve sun and sand and water because I am a human being, life is short and I’m maximizing every minute."
There’s a third kind of woman: tentative, self-conscious and afraid of offending others with her imperfections. She can’t enjoy the beach because she’s shrouded. She’s wearing Capri pants and a tee covered by a long army-style shirt rolled up at the elbows and fastened with little buttons. You may wonder what she’s hiding under the shirt. About 12 years ago, I invited a woman to stay at my beach house. She said, “Great, but I don’t go on the beach.” No further explanation. I knew she had undergone mastectomy for breast cancer several years ago.
The October 2011 issue of Glamour magazine focuses on five women who have had breast cancer. The youngest of them was diagnosed at age 16 and the oldest was diagnosed when she was 29. Two of them have no family history of the disease. Statistics indicate that women of this age should not get breast cancer. But they do.
These women have something in common besides youth and cancer. They are beating down the disease by telling all, which is usually a mistake, but not when it comes to breast cancer. Talking about the breast cancer experience normalizes it, spreads information and detoxifies feelings surrounding it.
Ellen Bantug, age 29, co-coordinator for the breast cancer survivorship program at the Sidney Kimmel Comprehensive Cancer Center at Johns Hopkins, Baltimore was diagnosed at age 23 and underwent lumpectomy, radiation, chemo and bilateral mastectomy. Following these treatments, she says, "I felt like a 60-year-old menopausal woman. Would my libido every return? Discussing these issues is the only way to change the culture. More women are beating this disease. We have to talk about life after cancer too."
Dr. Meltem Zeytinoglu was diagnosed at age 22. After losing her mom to breast cancer she hated feeling pity from others, so she kept her diagnosis quiet and felt terribly alone. Now, she is healthy, vibrant and connected to several breast cancer organizations. She also shares the gift of her personal experience with patients.
Jamie Pleva lost her sister and grandmother to breast cancer. When she learned she had the breast cancer gene, she scheduled a double mastectomy. Before beginning chemo, she had her eggs frozen to preserve her fertility. Now she’s telling others about this option.
Breast cancer is not just a life-threatening disease; it is a condition that insinuates itself into every nook of your life – dating, marriage, pregnancy, motherhood, femininity, sexuality, career and relationships. If you look squarely at what it does and discuss it, it becomes less toxic. It’s also fine to joke about cancer. TV shows like “The Big C” and movies like “50-50” are on the right track. Wanda Sykes jokes about her double mastectomy, "At least with LGBT issues, we get a float or parade. But with cancer all you do is walk. I got a lot of walks coming up."
Breast cancer patients do not follow one course. The big dilemma following mastectomy is whether or not to undergo breast reconstruction. As in all aspects of the disease the one thing that is clear and simple is that each and every bit of information must get out there. To that end an inaugural breast reconstruction awareness day, aptly called BRA Day, is scheduled for October 19th. This effort involves plastic surgeons specializing in breast surgery, plastic surgery nurse specialists, the Canadian Society of Plastic surgeons and breast cancer support groups. More important, it includes women who have undergone reconstruction and can deliver the real scoop about saline versus silicone versus autologous (your own tissue) reconstruction or the benefits of no reconstruction at all.
There are all kinds of breasts out there, real and artificial, and the options are increasing as I write. With the multiplicity of breast sizes and substances, including stem cells, a woman with her original breasts may stand out on the beach the same way a woman with her original husband stands out today. ("You mean, he’s the only husband you ever had?") So, put on a bathing suit and let’s talk about breast cancer until we’re blue in the face.