I DON’T THINK YOUR READY FOR THIS JELLY: Bodacious Booty Giveaway
Oct 26, 2010 Posted by Corrie Shenigo
ATTENTION: Ladies… at the end of this blog post we’re going to give some awesomely-awesome stuff away to a few of our sexy readers. I’m just sayin’.
THE SAGE-LIKE STYLINGS OF BELL BIV DEVOE"
There’s no fighting it… having ample ‘back’ is back… and back - you know, literally. After years of waifer-thin stick bugs ruling the dictates of runways and red carpets, The Booty (you best use her proper title) has made the mother-of-all-comebacks and there is no dialing her down.
Like a usurped Queen returning triumphantly to rule her adoring masses (a.k.a. The Mens), it seems The Booty, in all its magnificently rounded glory, is back. According to the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Shape Magazine and countless celebrity rags – the booty has been named a ‘must-have accessory’ for 2010. And while I’m not totally cool with a body part being called an accessory - 'cause um... you can't exactly take it off if it goes out of fashion, right? - I have all sorts of junk-in-my-trunk so I’m in – let’s move on.
"The new 'it' part of the body is just behind you. Look right behind you, over your shoulder -- it's the 'big butt' - summer's hottest accessory," said Shape Magazine Execuitve Style Director Jacqui Stafford.
I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly
I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly
I don’t think you’re ready for this
‘cause my body’s too bootilicious for ya babe
(THE UNDENIABLE WISDOM OF BEYONCE)
But the proof is in the pudding, or… umm… jelly.
It seems a strategic bending over to pick up an errant pencil – Oops… I ‘accidentally’ dropped this. Tee...hee...hee. - won’t just win you a date with Mr. Right in Accounting anymore. (And for realz, if any of you ladies are still rocking this old-school ploy – stop it. Now.) Nope, it seems a bootilicious backside can literally rocket you to super-stardom. Kim Kardashian, J-Lo, Beyonce – these gals might as well sign over a mass percentage of their earnings to the booties that helped get them there.
In fact, Kardashian’s a** alone is a financial force to be reckoned with. According to CBS News, Kardashian’s ‘bottom’ line is reportedly worth $5.5 million. WHAT?!!! My a** needs to get a job!
And while my own ample asset (Oh… did I already mention that I’m kicking some curves? What can I say – tremendous fluttering of lashes.) hasn’t yet caused any full-scale riots, it has been the topic of conversation, especially amongst my booty-deficient friends. So what’s a gal gotta do to get a little booty?
For you, my readers, I’ve done the research – I’m a giver, what can I say – and there are all sorts of ways to beautify and bedazzle one’s own lady-lumps. There are butt facials to lift and tone, butt lift workouts, Brazillian Butt-lift surgery if you’re going to go hardcore, butt cleavage jewelry, butt… (*screech!* What?!!!!).
In the spirit of research, let’s spend just a second here. Yes, I said butt cleavage jewelry – and it’s even more horrifying than you think. Butt cleavage jewelry is where men and women, insert themselves into a chair at their friendly local piercing parlor and allow their booty cleave surface (just above the crack) to be pierced with a sharp object. Then a permanent (!!!) barbell-like object is inserted – sort of like a belly button piercing for the flipside... that you can't take off. Uh-huh. To each their own.
As I was saying… there are a myriad of ways to enhance the butt-zone, including the obvious… working out (How dare you! You take that back!). Most gyms offer Brazillian Butt-lift classes and you can always do enough squats at the gym to make sitting on the toilet problematic – we’ve all been there ladies… fess up. One of the most brilliant (and least likely to cause mass hemorrhaging of your bank account) products available on the market today is butt enhancing shapewear – think a push-up bra… for the butt.
So let's talk about the hottest butt shapewear products out there today: the Booty Pop. Booty Who? Booty Pop. You've probably seen this celebrity favorite on late night infomercials, or at Target online, or at Bed Bath and Beyond, or on Regis and Kelly… my point: Booty Pop is poised for world domination – and just think how good the world is going to look from behind.
And here’s the super juicy giveaway bit, the masterminds behind Booty Pop padded panties have magnanimously provided several Booty Pop coupons that we will gift to our loyal readers. Just send in the coupon with your size and a perfectly padded pair of Bootie Pop panties will arrive in your mailbox.
Here’s what you do:
Just Follow Project Beauty on Twitter @project_beauty and retweet something like: http://www.projectbeauty.com/index.php/videos/watch/achieving-a-curvaceous-booty/
Or
“Like” Project Beauty on Facebook - http://www.facebook.com/projectbeauty and leave a comment on the Booty Pop blog post.
We’ll choose the winners from those readers that do one or both of the above in the next two weeks. And then "turn around, stick it out, even white boys got to shout... Baby Got Back." - thank you, Sir Mix-a-Lot. That will be enough.
'til Next Time!"
THE SAGE-LIKE STYLINGS OF BELL BIV DEVOE"
There’s no fighting it… having ample ‘back’ is back… and back - you know, literally. After years of waifer-thin stick bugs ruling the dictates of runways and red carpets, The Booty (you best use her proper title) has made the mother-of-all-comebacks and there is no dialing her down.
Like a usurped Queen returning triumphantly to rule her adoring masses (a.k.a. The Mens), it seems The Booty, in all its magnificently rounded glory, is back. According to the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Shape Magazine and countless celebrity rags – the booty has been named a ‘must-have accessory’ for 2010. And while I’m not totally cool with a body part being called an accessory - 'cause um... you can't exactly take it off if it goes out of fashion, right? - I have all sorts of junk-in-my-trunk so I’m in – let’s move on.
"The new 'it' part of the body is just behind you. Look right behind you, over your shoulder -- it's the 'big butt' - summer's hottest accessory," said Shape Magazine Execuitve Style Director Jacqui Stafford.
I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly
I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly
I don’t think you’re ready for this
‘cause my body’s too bootilicious for ya babe
(THE UNDENIABLE WISDOM OF BEYONCE)
But the proof is in the pudding, or… umm… jelly.
It seems a strategic bending over to pick up an errant pencil – Oops… I ‘accidentally’ dropped this. Tee...hee...hee. - won’t just win you a date with Mr. Right in Accounting anymore. (And for realz, if any of you ladies are still rocking this old-school ploy – stop it. Now.) Nope, it seems a bootilicious backside can literally rocket you to super-stardom. Kim Kardashian, J-Lo, Beyonce – these gals might as well sign over a mass percentage of their earnings to the booties that helped get them there.
In fact, Kardashian’s a** alone is a financial force to be reckoned with. According to CBS News, Kardashian’s ‘bottom’ line is reportedly worth $5.5 million. WHAT?!!! My a** needs to get a job!
And while my own ample asset (Oh… did I already mention that I’m kicking some curves? What can I say – tremendous fluttering of lashes.) hasn’t yet caused any full-scale riots, it has been the topic of conversation, especially amongst my booty-deficient friends. So what’s a gal gotta do to get a little booty?
For you, my readers, I’ve done the research – I’m a giver, what can I say – and there are all sorts of ways to beautify and bedazzle one’s own lady-lumps. There are butt facials to lift and tone, butt lift workouts, Brazillian Butt-lift surgery if you’re going to go hardcore, butt cleavage jewelry, butt… (*screech!* What?!!!!).
In the spirit of research, let’s spend just a second here. Yes, I said butt cleavage jewelry – and it’s even more horrifying than you think. Butt cleavage jewelry is where men and women, insert themselves into a chair at their friendly local piercing parlor and allow their booty cleave surface (just above the crack) to be pierced with a sharp object. Then a permanent (!!!) barbell-like object is inserted – sort of like a belly button piercing for the flipside... that you can't take off. Uh-huh. To each their own.
As I was saying… there are a myriad of ways to enhance the butt-zone, including the obvious… working out (How dare you! You take that back!). Most gyms offer Brazillian Butt-lift classes and you can always do enough squats at the gym to make sitting on the toilet problematic – we’ve all been there ladies… fess up. One of the most brilliant (and least likely to cause mass hemorrhaging of your bank account) products available on the market today is butt enhancing shapewear – think a push-up bra… for the butt.
So let's talk about the hottest butt shapewear products out there today: the Booty Pop. Booty Who? Booty Pop. You've probably seen this celebrity favorite on late night infomercials, or at Target online, or at Bed Bath and Beyond, or on Regis and Kelly… my point: Booty Pop is poised for world domination – and just think how good the world is going to look from behind.
And here’s the super juicy giveaway bit, the masterminds behind Booty Pop padded panties have magnanimously provided several Booty Pop coupons that we will gift to our loyal readers. Just send in the coupon with your size and a perfectly padded pair of Bootie Pop panties will arrive in your mailbox.
Here’s what you do:
Just Follow Project Beauty on Twitter @project_beauty and retweet something like: http://www.projectbeauty.com/index.php/videos/watch/achieving-a-curvaceous-booty/
Or
“Like” Project Beauty on Facebook - http://www.facebook.com/projectbeauty and leave a comment on the Booty Pop blog post.
We’ll choose the winners from those readers that do one or both of the above in the next two weeks. And then "turn around, stick it out, even white boys got to shout... Baby Got Back." - thank you, Sir Mix-a-Lot. That will be enough.
'til Next Time!"