We’ve already covered the seeming revival of the 70’s as displayed by a number of 2011 Pre-Fall collections that were unveiled on the tail of 2010 including Thakoon, Max Azria, Marc Jacobs, Tory Burch, Eli Tahari… whew… the list is exhausting. But what else, you may ask, is going on in the world of fashion – specifically the spring haute couture shows that were unveiled this week in Paris (insert the appropriate bad French accent sound here, if you please.) Why?! I’m glad you asked! (Roll out the eyecandy!)

Well… according to fashion critic Cathy Horyn in the New York Times review entitled ‘Onstage or Backstage, a Kiss for Paris’ the mood was decidedly… dramatic. In fact, she blames the “lack of crabbing about [the collections] being out of touch” on bored editors – and while she was virtually gushing about the inspiration, she was more or less questioning the wear-ability of the designs. Wear-ability? Out-of-touch? Overly-dramatic? There is simply no such thing and I will physically attack anyone who says different! This is haute couture people and I say the more brashishness, boldness and bravada – the better!

So… in the immortal words of the late great Bette Davis in ‘All About Eve’ - “Fasten your seatbelts, it's going to be a bumpy night.” But not so much ‘bumpy’ as 'so-help-me-god-if-you-upstage-me-I-will-unleash-the-Kraken-on-your-crazy-a*s'. (Followed by a flashy smile and jazz hands. Naturally.) Let’s begin.

Georgio Armani took a dive even further back into the history books than the Pre-Fall collections with his collection, which according to Ms. Horyn (she ain’t the Queen of Mean for nothing, folks) “looked straight out of the Saturday-morning TV shows of the 60’s.” In fact, she called the plastic saucer hats “dippy” (ouch). But from the designer who counts Lady Gaga as a client should we have expected anything less than va-va-what-the-hell-is-she-wearing? (I adore you Gaga!



Naturally, I liked it! Mostly ‘cause it’s shiny… and I’m a magpie. The liquidity of the fabrics made me think of sci-fi, which made me think of awesomeness and I loved the bevy of full-length dresses. At the end of the day Ms. Horyn liked it too, as she gave “credit for working with those glistening fabrics, for the sense of control over the shapes, even if the futuristic vision was a little hackneyed.” (A rose has it’s thorn – does it not?)

Let’s next take our jazz hands over to John Galliano’s collection for Dior, inspired by illustrator René Gruau (Hey! We totally see it!).



Ms. Horyn points her back-handed-compliment-gun at Mr. Galliano with: “It’s true that Mr. Galliano should put down the books, but trust me when I say that most of the suits and dresses in this collection would look gorgeous on someone." Um... I'm wondering what inflection she used with the word 'someone'. She proceeds with the jab/compliment combo, "You have to ignore the ’50s makeup. The little airy jackets with pencil or full skirts are stunning, as were Lido feather numbers…” (Apparently she hates books, and the 50’s, and the 60’s, and Saturday Morning TV – our list is growing.)



Jean Paul Gaultier and his show managed to escape Ms. Horyn’s review unscathed (and also got a starring role on her blog.) In fact, she used the words “brilliance” and “top form” and this: “He took all his obsessions with French culture, from the tuxedoed, cigarette-smoking lady to the can-can dancer, and combined them with the anarchic spirit that fueled his early career.” She also made a side-track note of cabaret dancer Psykko Tico “kicking her leg so high I thought she would hit herself in the head. And then she threw herself into the splits on the runway.” (Ms. Horyn likes flexibility. Noted.) Ooo-la-la!



Ms. Horyn was equally “mesmerized” by Karl Lagerfeld’s “effortless futurism” in the Chanel collection, citing it’s “proportions and modern sense of ease” as well as the designer basing everything “on the not-so-dumb idea of being able to wear most everything with skinny jeans, which were sometimes covered in sequins.” Again: Sparkles = Amazing.



So what have we learned here today kiddies? We’ve learned that Ms. Horyn likes sparkles (<em>big points for her here), and French culture, and flexible can-can dancers. She hates Saturday morning TV, mid-century make-up and hats, and new-fangled book learning. Ms. Horyn, when you’re ready to write your online dating application, give us a ring!



'til Next Time!"