In the immortal words of Grand Dame Bette Davis, “Old age is no place for sissies.”

Well (indignant harrumph…)! We here at Project Beauty Blog are not sissies! No indeed. And we’re not gonna take this whole aging thing lying down (except this posture really does do wonders for putting the face back where is started, no?)

We spent much time this month covering the inevitabilities of what too much sun, too much fun, those darned genetics and the passage of time can do to the tone of our skin, but what about those other “gifts” from mother-nature and father-time? Those “gifts” that keep on giving. You know, the “gifts” that appear below you’re chin.

It seems the one thing we can truly count on is that change is inevitable, and usually… like the coins collecting in the southern hemisphere of your purse… it’s pretty loose. But you don’t have to live with the loose, lax, wrinkled or spotted areas we fixate on daily in our quest to figure out what the heck happened to that 20 year-old who’s still inside of us.



WATTLE IS NOT HOT-TLE

We’ll start with the area just slightly south of your face, the area that might be loose and lax and jingling about below your jawline.

A recent More magazine’s article entitled “Ch-Ch-CHANGES!” goes to Santa Monica-based skin guru, Ava Shamban, MD, for some answers, and sadly, she knows the problem all too well. “When it comes to skin care, the neck is an oft-forgotten body part.” But instead of merely lamenting the issue Nora Ephron-style (go on and read her book I Feel Badly About My Neck), let’s look at a few dermatological options.

If a jowly jaw is what’s bringing you (and your face) down, a little Botox injected into the vertical muscles under your jaw is one sure-fire way to go. This injection relaxes the muscles enough so that they loosen their downward pull on the skin releasing some of gravities power over your jawline. Not really defeating gravity, but at least not helping it out.

And while Ally McBeal devoted an entire storyline to a character’s under-neck wattle fetish – few of us have the same love of the dreaded turkey neck. Shamban suggests such wattle-banishing skin-tightening treatments as Thermage, which heats the skin’s deepest layers to stimulate collagen production using radio-frequency energy. Some doctors will even pair Thermage with a resurfacing laser such as Fraxel to amp up collagen production even more. Most doctors suggest repeating the treatment yearly to maintain the results at a cost of $1,200 a pop – and while results vary, it’s definitely something to look into if a little wattle has you worried. (Note: This treatment can even help treat sagging even further south on the notoriously hard to treat knee area!)

YOUR DECOLLETE DESERVES BETTER

Most of us, at some point in our lives or another, have spent a little too much time in the sun leaving a gal with mottled, lined… even crepey (*tears!) décolleté. Shamban isn’t about to let us go down like that. The good doctor recommends a glycolic peel laced with retinoic acid to combat rough texture and uneven tone – and all I can really say is, where do I sign up? Sure you may experience some skin shedding for a week or so afterwards and it’ll set you back between $100 - $200 per peel (most MD’s suggest a series of two to six peels spaced about a month apart) – but imagine a world where a low-cut dress (or a freakin’ V-neck) doesn’t require a full-chest foundation job!

Many of the same spotting and discoloration treatments we talked about last week also apply to the chest-ular area, as well. For instance, Shamban recommends pigment-targeting lasers for brown spots. By blasting the melanin in each dark lesion, the laser causes the brown area to break apart and flake off in about two weeks. One to three ($350) treatments should do the trick. For the peskier lines and wrinkles, you might even consider such fillers as Restylane to plump them up.

HOW LOW CAN YOU GO?

Since we’re already working our way down, let’s talk about our once luscious stems, which as time passes, can be plagued by dastardly dimpling. Yes, it’s cute on a baby’s bottom. Not so cute on your thighs. And while there is NO CURE for cellulite (yes… I did have to capitalize it), there are treatments that can – (and here’s the operative word) temporarily – soften the appearance of bumpy skin. New York dermatologist Neil Sadick, MD, uses a little something called VelaShape II. This vacuum-roller device (erase that Dyson from your mind) flattens the skin in about 8 treatments (around $500 per session) using heat and suction. In theory, giving you less dimpling near the derriere.

Smooth-Shapes XV is another dimple-smoothing option that combines sci-fi laser and light energy with relaxing message. Starting at around $200 a session, you’ll still need to book around 8 to see results.

Alternative hope lives on for this bevy of below-the-chin age-related calamities with new treatments, advances and magic happening constantly, especially in other countries. For instance, in regards to dimpling, The Journal of European Academy of Dermatology and Venereology has suggested that retinoid use may smooth the skin too. Rest assured that we here at Project Beauty Blog will continue to bring you the latest and greatest as it arrives on our desk.

“Old age is no place for sissies.” – Bettie Davis
“… it beats the alternative.” – Dad